The Great Dating Game Debate: Why Game Knowledge Is Here To Stay
by Alex Driver
Many pixels have once again been spilled and generated in discussing the great "Whither Game?" question. We've been through this with the MHRA wing. The Christomanosphere is also questioning Game, its foundations and its efficacy.
I don't know whether a split in the Christomanosphere, reactosphere and PUAsphere is coming or not. Those questions don't concern me as much as what can be done now to help men coming up and into one of the worst sexual and marriage marketplaces in recorded history. Indeed, this entire society is outright hostile to men's interests.
We don't need more arguments about what men shouldn't do. We don't need more exhortations to men to "stop! Wait! Don't! Don't do that! Don't go there!" Men must have available to them tools and instructions they can use now, so they can know what to do going forward.
Game Is Here To Stay: The Knowledge Cannot Disappear
Whether we like it or not, Game is here to stay. Dalrock pointed out in his excellent "A Secret Even the KGB Couldn't Have Kept" that the knowledge that comprises Game is not going anywhere. The most attractive women are available only outside marriage, and only to the men who can do and be what Game teaches a man. Most men are being told to "wait wait wait" until all the women around them have finished doing and seeing everything (and everyone) they want to do and see. Men like you are spending a decade observing this very sexual marketplace in which you're watching even the women in your peer assortative mating group -- HB 4s through 7s --- having sex with more attractive men than you; then settling for their peers (you) after they've finished.
Add to this that Game concepts are seeping into general consciousness. Women have always, always been in the know. Gentlemen, your brothers all around you are wising up as well. Whether we like it or not, Game will affect the thinking, conduct and sexual decisions of future generations -- your sons and daughters. We as men must get out in front of this so as to teach men the truth of what they're seeing.
Men are waking up to the fact that at least when it comes to attraction and intersexual dynamics, their entire lives and foundations are built on lies their parents, teachers, pastors, and everyone else told them. The lies feminism propped up can no longer be papered over or explained away, and are being exposed for the frauds they are. The pretty lies around us are dying quick and painful deaths.
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The Crumbling Lies: What We Were Told Versus Reality
Remember the lies they told you?
Be nice! be yourself!
Just wait and the girls will fall all over themselves to marry you!
We love betas! Build me a better beta!
Be friends first, and she'll see what a great guy you are!
Don't pursue her; wait for her to come to you!
Just take a shower and stand at the bar, and the girls will come to you!
You don't have to do anything except go to church, and the girls will love you for the Godly man you are!
Those lies are crumbling, one by one, as even Christian women frivorce their husbands for unhappiness. Even the Christian men around us see the snake oil that Christian marriage advisors are selling. Even the Christian men around us see it, as they are kicked out of their homes and moved into shabby apartments. Even the Christian men see it as they see their wages garnished for alimony and child support.
If you have something better, share it. If you have something to add, do so. There are those making the rounds in the Christomanosphere telling us that the truths of intersexual relationships and communication have been around since time immemorial; and therefore, Game isn't necessary. They're in the Bible, in the Four Cardinal Virtues; in Greek philosophy, in Carnegie and Aquinas and Hollenbecq and Schopenhauer. Fair enough.
My question is this: Who's teaching those things? Who's directing boys to these things? If you aren't, why not?
When traditional conservatives are confronted with this, they wash their hands of it a la Pontius Pilate, saying it's not the Church's job to teach boys about manhood, masculinity, or female nature. No, that's a task properly allotted to parents. (Never mind that the Church hasn't taught, encouraged or even demonstrated anything like true masculinity for at least 50 years.)
Fair enough.
We are now two generations into a complete and wholesale failure of parents teaching their sons about masculinity and daughters about femininity. We have half of fathers getting kicked out of their homes because their wives aren't happy. Women can't teach sons anything about masculinity; and they are doing a terrible job of teaching femininity to their daughters.
The schools can't keep children even from killing each other, much less teach the three R's. Public education is also hopelessly politically correct, a mere tool of feminism and liberalism. Boys will not learn masculinity and intergender relationships at school. Scouting and other programs have had their legs cut out from under them by court decisions and other liberal identity and victim groups foisting their politics onto them, demanding all sorts of concessions and inclusions.
Where does that leave us? The Church won't do it. Mothers are preventing fathers from doing it (assuming fathers even know how to do it). Schools are openly hostile to it. Organizations are being hogtied from doing it (again, assuming they know how).
But then we're told that there are some men out there writing and speaking about true, Greek philosopher style, Four Cardinal Virtues-type masculinity. I'm good with that. I can only say that Game and what's coming to be called the Dark Enlightenment would never, ever have gained the traction they have if those men and women were as influential and knowledgeable as they claim. Where were you traditionalists now talking about St. Thomas Aquinas, Schopenhauer and Carnegie when feminists and their allies stormed the Bastille of our society?
Why aren't our schools teaching Courage, Justice, Temperance and Prudence? (Answer -- because those are MORAL concepts and we can't have people teaching morality because that's an establishment of religion.)
Why aren't our churches, the ones we're told have all the answers, teaching men about these things? (Answer: because that would make women feel bad.) Why instead do religious organizations teach inanities like "10 ways to make sure your wife is happy" and "15 date night ideas for your wife"? (Because that makes women feel good.) Why do religious organizations instead tell us that we must love our wives as Christ loved the Church; but wives must submit to husbands only if they feel like it? (Again: because to do otherwise would make women feel bad.)
If you have the truth, where have you been? While you were fiddling and fretting about guys "using" Game, the feminists sacked and burned Rome. We could use your help in containing the damage.
Most importantly, the Christomanosphere might have critical moral insights to help men apply Game and its concepts to their marriages and their lives. The Christomanosphere might be able to help reintroduce men to the Four Cardinal Virtues and moral rectitude. But for heaven's sake, don't just stand there complaining and nitpicking and tearing down. HELP US FIX IT. Like DeepStrength at his blog. Like Chad at Depths to Wilderness. Like Free Northerner at his blog. Those men don't have to shut up because they're putting up. In a big, big way.
But if all you're going to do is complain, then let those who have some solutions try theirs. We've tried it the traditional conservative way of "Be Nice, Be Yourself". We've tried it the "15 date night ideas" way. We've tried the "women are inherently more moral and more spiritual" way. And we've tried it the neo-feminist way of "build a better beta". It's a disaster. If you have something to say, say it. If you have something useful to teach, then teach it. If you have something, put it out there and we'll evaluate its utility and efficacy in light of what we know now.
The Manosphere/Dark Enlightenment are the only people ANYWHERE teaching men ANYTHING useful about human nature and male psychology. That's simply a fact of life right now. And I don't care if you call it "Christian Game" or sanitized Game or Godly masculinity. It doesn't matter what you call it. As long as it isn't "Be Nice" or "Build a Better Beta" or "Just figure it out for yourself", or "You Go Grrrrrl", teach it.
Rejecting The Anti-Game Rhetoric: Why PUAs Matter
Like it or not, Game concepts work when it comes to understanding and managing intersexual relationships. Pickup artistry isn't for everyone. In fact, most men cannot do it. Stop with the hysterical, irrational hand-wringing about roving bands of little Roissys and Rooshes, roaming the countryside and deflowering every virgin in sight. That's never, ever going to happen because (1) most men aren't interested in dark triad Game and even if they were, all but a tiny sliver of men are completely unable to pull it off; and (2) only a very small proportion of men become proficient enough at Game to become PUAs.
And stop with the "PUAs and players are perverted dirtbags" denunciations. It's counterproductive because it ignores what PUAs have added to current understanding of intersexual relationships. Besides, PUAs and players don't care one whit what anyone thinks of them.
The suggestion that players are attractive to women because men "look up to them" is patently absurd. Women are attracted to players because players exhibit traits that women find attractive, and they do it better than most other men. If a man can learn some of those traits and incorporate them into himself so as to increase his attractiveness, might that help build a lasting relationship? Might that help him simply walk away from a bad relationship? Might that help him refuse to put up with crap from his wife, longtime companion, girlfriend or date?
Much is made of the PUA who boasted of 1000 approaches and 27 lays, as being "only" 2.7% return on investment. The last time I checked, 2.7 percent is more than zero percent. And 27 is more than zero. And I know 1000 is more than zero. Small success is better than enormous failure. Enormous failure with tools is better than trying with no tools. And enormous failure is also better than never trying in the first place because you're afraid, or have no idea what to do or how to do it. Game addresses all of that, and more. As does Godly masculinity which Chad and Deep Strength now espouse and instruct.
Men don't need any further instruction about what NOT to do. They need help on what they CAN do and SHOULD do. They need encouragement on what TO do. They don't need hysterical injunctions to avoid this or that. They don't need ridiculous Chicken Little "The Sky is Falling!" false prognostications which only paralyze them into inaction.
Stop the endless obfuscation and dithering over terms. While the tradcons demand that Game proponents define Game, men are out there trying and failing with "Be Nice! Be Yourself!" While they bash PUAs, an unhappy wife kicks her hapless ex husband from his home, destroying her family and children in the process. While they complain and nitpick and scream "DON'T!", another man writhes in agony because he's just been turned down for the 35th time and he doesn't know why.
Tools, Training, And The Alternative To Flying Blind
The tradcons also tell us that when it comes to intersexual relationships and male and female nature, men must "just get it" and "just figure it out for themselves". In today's society, this is little more than an exhortation to fly blind. It's a bit like giving a man the raw materials with which to build a house, but with no tools, no training, and no blueprints. "Everything you need is right there in the raw materials. You don't need any tools. You don't need to be taught or mentored or trained. You don't need any help or encouragement. It's all right there. Just figure it out for yourself."
Of course, that won't help anyone, and it's a weak testament to the job we've been doing as a society. We can, we must, do better.
